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Category: Thoughts of Life
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I’m so bored on the news, which is a terrifying thing when you think about it. I’m totally desensitised to everything from brexit and climate change to wars and terrorism. Remember when you were a kid and none of this mattered. It was wonderful. I’m bored, I think I’ll just run around in a circle…
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People should need to pass a test to become parents. There would be questions like: Do you think your child will need a separate seat on the train? Are you planning on getting on a plane with this child in the next 10 years? Do you believe you shouldn’t give a child vaccines because they…
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I sometimes worry about things. Like have I forgotten to do something, or am I doing enough for climate change, or If reincarnation were true but you kept your own consciousness, could I handle living as a duck. Probably not. I know very little of duck culture, I could never fit in. I am not…
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The following is a list of tips I have for performers of stand up comedy. I am in no way an expert on this however I have been getting up on stages for over 6 years and in that time I like to think I have amassed some knowledge of a few of the dos…
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Yes. Or specifically fucked. I have tried to live in London on savings and small earnings here and there. I have tried and failed. I am at the point of zero. I am broke. I am fully broke, like can’t afford to get to a employment centre, interview or job kind of broke. Credit card…
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I’m sitting in the dentist waiting room and right in front of me is a bowl of apples. Do dentists hate doctors so much they’re willing to believe they can harness the power of apples to keep them away. Or is it that apples have an acid content that will help speed up the erosion…
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What a bunch of James Blunts we have in the world. I don’t mean cunts (ooh dropped the C bomb so early on – don’t alienate readers Jake), I mean James Blunts. Mopey fucking idiots who would write entire albums if they could on the tiny little things in their life that inconvenience them. “You’re…
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So I currently don’t have a job. Other than my stand up comedy which honestly doesn’t pay enough for me to enjoy the lavish lifestyles rap videos tell me I should be aiming for. Jay-z may have had 99 problems but I feel like if one of those had been unemployment, we wouldn’t know who…
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I haven’t written anything in a long time, and there’s probably been a multitude of reasons for that. I’ve got a new job, before that I was on the cusp of homelessness and before that I was on the brink of suicide. What a bloody rollercoaster life is, only with much more twists, turns, drops…
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War! Huh? What is it good for? Well maybe, just maybe solving all the worlds problems. “Jake that’s ridiculous” I hear you cry. Well you’re right, it is ridiculous. The only way war could potentially fix the world is if we were invaded by an alien species who decides the best course of action is…
Jake Pickford 