My Life; on Anti-Depressants

Day 35

I haven’t posted for three days, this is the longest I’ve gone without posting anything.  Commitment is so hard.  I have semi-valid excuses though.  Friday and Saturday night I was at my parent’s house and although I could have written a blog on their computer, not to mention I took my laptop with me, but I’m still using that as my excuse and Sunday was a Sunday.  I did say they were only semi-valid excuses.

I’m still maintaining the mentality of trying to blog everyday but it is hard to keep up good habits and really easy to stop doing them because they’re generally speaking harder to do than not do.  The bigger the reward you get from something the harder it is to do.  For example, if I watch a YouTube video then I have to do very little work to achieve this and the reward is that I’ll get to enjoy the time spent watching that video.  If I want to make my own YouTube channel then the rewards from that are much bigger, like releasing entertaining content, getting fans and even potentially making money, but so is the work I’d have to put into it as well as the commitment required to keep on doing it.  It’s easy to get distracted with things that give you quick and easy rewards because it feels good but it just doesn’t last long enough.  Not to mention I’ve been known the have the attention span of a goldfish with ADHD.  I need to give To Do lists another go.  Although last time I did, I just kept getting annoyed at the lack of completed tasks, It was essentially just putting in black and white in front of me how unorganised and unproductive my day had been.  I’ll probably start making two lists, one I’ll write the night before, of things I want to do the next day which I can tick off at night, and the other list I’ll write after ticking off my first list.  That list will be called Stuff I actually did.  I think this is a good idea for two reasons.  Number one, if I actually do other good things in a day that weren’t on my To Do list then I can still feel good about them and number two, I’m likely to fill that list with a bunch of time wasting activities and then I’ll probably feel bad about how long that list is and stop doing as many of those things.

What’s most likely though is I’ll just stop doing the second list, or both lists…

Thanks for reading and I’ll speak to you tomorrow.

Jake Pickford.

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