My Life; on Anti-Depressants

Day 31

Hello dear readers, today I want to talk about my wall.  I don’t mean my Facebook wall, I mean my actual bedroom wall.  Quite a while ago after my first dealing with depression, long before this blog was even thought of, I decided that I would put paper on my wall and using marker pens I would write rules to live my life by.  I planned to read them every day and try to live by them, I know it might sound kind of strange but I felt like before I’d forgotten a lot of these obvious things and I figured having them written out in black and white as a constant reminder would help me not get depressed.  Clearly it didn’t work but that was partly/mostly because I stopped reading them.  I want to start getting into the habit of reading them again, I’m not feeling depressed again, thanks to writing my blog and taking my anti-depressants, but I still feel like it would be a good idea to instill them in my mind.

I thought I’d also share what I wrote with you, so here goes.

Think positive, be passionate, smile, be brave, think rationally, don’t let the past bring you down, don’t let the future make you anxious.  There are always other options, they’re just sometimes hard to see.  Don’t worry about what other people think of you, be comfortable with who you are.  Speak your mind, be as creative as you can be, don’t worry, be happy.  Write down your thoughts, it’s a great way to get your feelings out and get to know yourself.  Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t change the world.  Never compare yourself to anyone.  Self-educate.  Form your own opinions.  Don’t be afraid to disagree with people.  Honest communication can save the world.  Don’t be easily offended or annoyed by people, most of the time it’s not personal, it’s just who they are.  Don’t be afraid of feeling afraid.  Stop saying “err” and “umm”.

That is essentially how I’d like everyone to live their life, but I think I’ll try to lead by example.  For a while reading this every day really did help me focus in on reminding myself of how I can be happy.  By doing and thinking those things.  I’m not saying it would work for everyone just to read that list every morning but I do think there is some merit in having something every day to remind you how you should approach the day.  I saw a YouTube video by a guy named Luke Capasso, who is a great comic and he spoke about this old Cherokee proverb; There is a battle of two wolves inside us all, one wolf is evil, it is anger, jealously, greed, resentment, lies, inferiority and ego.  The other wolf is good.  It is joy, kindness, peace, love, hope, humility, empathy and truth.  And you have to feed the good wolf in order to live a good life, but the evil wolf is often the easier one to feed. It’s much easier to get angry than to stay calm, much easier to feel jealous than to stop ourselves.

Today I fed my good wolf, I had a great gig in a strange farm brewery.  With free pizza!  That’s a win in my book anytime.  I need to keep on track with being productive and not forget the things that make me happy.

Thanks for reading and I’ll speak to you tomorrow.

Jake

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