My Life; on Anti-depressants

Day 11

Well what a productive day I’ve had today, I recorded 6 episodes of my podcast with 6 different guests and did I “gig”.  I use quotation marks technically the gig didn’t happen.  The audience wasn’t big enough for the night to go ahead.  But I still did some stuff for the small amount of people that did show up.  It actually worked out quite well because the extra time meant I got to record 2 episodes of my podcast.

I’m so tired right now so this will be a short blog.  I’m really happy with myself right now, I’d been going through a prolonged period of not liking myself very much and that makes it much harder as a comedian to convince other people to like you.  I feel like these pills are helping me to remind myself how to enjoy being me.  I don’t have any other options either so whether you like yourself or not, you’re kind of stuck with yourself.

Tomorrow I’m at work again, so far I haven’t been as stressed with the idea of slaving away to make someone else money.  Work is unfortunately a necessary evil.  So it must be tolerated.  And I’m tolerating much better now.  Obviously I still want to do something else, something creative.  My day job is the thing in my life I’m least happy with so I need to change that and until I can get a new job I’m just going to have to start feeling happier with the one I’ve got.  That’s tough, especially after working there for 8 years.  But the other option is to continue hating it as strongly as I did and that’s what lead me down the road of depression.

I suppose the silver lining to that is if I hadn’t become depressed I might not have started this blog, I might not have started my podcast.  Everything happens for a reason and me feeling at my lowest was the catalyst to show me that I never want to feel that way again and I need to do everything in my power to stop it.

Thanks for reading and speak to you tomorrow.

Jake

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