My Life; on Anti;Depressants

Day 9

Nine days in.  I don’t really know how I’m feeling today.  I’m not sad I just feel a bit defeatist.  I feel a bit “meh“.  That’s why I’m writing this blog entry earlier than usual, so I can do something productive and inspire myself a bit.  The good thing about this blog is I don’t really get a writers block as it’s just a stream of conscious thought more than anything.

I’ve not done much today so far, other than take drugs, eat pizza and watch YouTube.  I watch too much YouTube, I should be on there not watching it.  I need to start making more videos.  I started a Vlog once.  Yet again I’m mentioning another thing I used to do.  If you’ve read my other blog posts and haven’t noticed a pattern then you’re clearly not paying attention.  I give up on a lot of stuff.  The more I go on about it on here, the more I’m hoping it will spur me on to continue writing.  I want to prove myself wrong and have it typed up as evidence.

I’ve also filmed a few other videos, and even made some crappy animations that are all on YouTube but I just haven’t been consistent with it.  I need to use my time more wisely rather than sleeping till mid-day and then wasting hours doing nothing, filling my mind with nothing.  It’s just hard to get motivated sometimes.  Plus I’m still waking up with a nose full of snot  and a chest that growls when I breathe.  I feel tired already and I know that’s because I haven’t done enough.  I’ve let my brain and body remain in low power mode and now it’s struggling to reboot quick enough.

Sometimes I wish life was more like a video game, and you could make certain save points to go back to.  Then I could be like, oh shit I fucked up and got debt, better go back to when I was 16 and debt free.  Procrastination is my biggest enemy.  It’s also my best friend, Ideally what I’d like to do is make it my bitch.  Go make some money for me procrastination.

I’m going to keep this one short because I want to try and use these last hours to do an array of creative things and plan my future.  Wish me luck.

Thanks for reading and speak to you tomorrow.

Jake

 

 

3 Replies to “My Life; on Anti;Depressants”

  1. elblogman says:

    This post resinates with me. I started AD’s about a month ago and was thinking about doing a daily blog on the transition, but didn’t end up doing it. I did however start my blog, and a youtube channel. I feel like I don’t follow through on so many things too. It’s so frustrating. If only we could change our habits and the way we think over night. One day at a time. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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