My Life; on Anti-Depressants

Day 41

I think a lot.  I think about my life, my dreams and aspirations.  I think about what life is, does it have a purpose?  I don’t believe that we’re told enough to really think about what we want out of life.  I think we’re told what other people think we need.  We need to get a job that pays our bills, to live in a house, perhaps we can meet that special someone and have kids.  Sometimes we’ll go to college or university and study hard to achieve qualifications for things that don’t really make us happy.  Alan Watts gives a great speech entitled What if money was no object, it’s fantastic and I highly recommend everyone watches it.  I can only do a terrible job of paraphrasing but basically the title is self explanatory.  What if money didn’t exist, what would you love to do with your time?  Now think practically about how you can start to do that.  I perform stand up comedy, and it makes my shitty day job much more bearable knowing I’m still following my dream and working towards what I want.  It sucks I can’t do it all the time yet but I know that as long as I don’t give up I’ll get there eventually. Two of the hardest things in life are taking the first step to doing what you really love and not giving up just because it’s not as easy as you thought it might be.

I think a lot of people worry about not knowing what they want to do with their lives.  But really it’s just thinking about what makes you the happiest and taking steps towards that.  If you love animals, start volunteering at an animal shelter or try to get a job somewhere that works with animals.  If baking makes you happy, write a recipe book, or start a YouTube channel with tutorials, start uploading pictures of your cakes to instagram.  Live the life that makes you happiest and try not to worry about having to dedicate your time to a day job or other things that don’t make you happy.  The more work you put into the things that do make you happy, the more likely you are to be able to make earning a living from it a reality.  And if you really love it, then it shouldn’t feel like work at all.  You don’t have to know what you want to do for the rest of your life, you just have to know what you want to do right now that would make you the happiest.  People change all the time and it 10 years I might never want to step on stage, see a microphone or make audeinces laugh ever again, but right now it’s all I want to do.

Let’s not get it confused though, chasing dreams is exhausting and very mentally challenging.  But the rewards for all those late nights working on ideas and long drives to gigs, perusing what I really want, are worth every single hour of lost sleep because I know that in the end I’ll still be happy.  And every one deserves to be happy.

Thanks for reading and I’ll speak to you tomorrow.


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